


giving me a chance

by zaynology



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Smoking, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-04
Updated: 2012-10-04
Packaged: 2017-11-15 11:09:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/526629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zaynology/pseuds/zaynology
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry is constantly watching Zayn as he wastes his days away, pining for a boy who will never love him back. But he’s not exactly right about what boy Zayn’s wistfully wishing for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	giving me a chance

_You know I never want to let you down_

_It cuts me up to see you sad_

_And I wish that I could undo what I’ve done_

_Give back the faith in me you had_

Zayn stood on his balcony, the chilly England weather chapping his lips as he blew out smoke. His ebony colored hair, unusually lacking gel, fell into his face as the unforgiving winds whipped his locks around. Nursing a beer in one hand, Zayn twirled the copper colored bottle before extinguishing his finished cigarette. Uncaring, he threw the cigarette onto his faded blue porch before stepping on it. Zayn tilted his head back before chugging his beer. His dark eyes stared out into the fading light of the sunset. The dimming sun glinted off his unshaven cheeks, illuminating his hollowed cheeks. Zayn’s stomach grumbled its complaint, starving for more nutrition than the young man gave it. He blinked and took another swig of his beer, his bloodshot, glassy eyes staring out into the vast expanse of nothing his own mind built up.

_You know I love you more than anyone_

_But I get a little wrapped up in myself_

The balcony’s sliding door opened behind him, a tall shadow joining Zayn’s misery. Zayn ignored the newcomer, quickly finishing up his bottle before chucking it in a corner; the bottle’s fall was cushioned by twenty or so others, making a dinging noise among the mess. The newcomer, a young man with curls coloured a dark chestnut, rested his slim fingers on his friend’s shoulder.

“You do know he’s coming over tonight, right love?” Harry’s slow and steady voice trickled into Zayn’s pierced ears.

A shaky hand clenched tightly around the balcony rail. Harry glanced at the tendons sticking out of Zayn’s hand, noticing how stark the contrast was between the blue veins and his pale hands. Harry wasn’t stupid, despite his juvenile antics; he knew his friend wasn’t eating. Harry sighed softly to himself and took a step forward, curling his long, muscled arm onto Zayn’s lower back, rubbing circles onto his side. Zayn stilled before turning into Harry, rubbing his nose in the crook of the taller man’s neck.

“Don’t make me go Harry, please.” Zayn whimpered into Harry’s neck, voice rough with tears.

“You know we have to, babes, I’m sorry.”

Harry ran his fingers through Zayn’s unkempt hair, clenching his other hand around the older man’s waist when he felt Zayn tremble. The green eyed man’s fingers flitted around Zayn’s wrist as he pulled him back into his own flat, which he now shared with the depressed boy. Louis had sadly moved out to live with Eleanor and the secretly lonely Harry had allowed Zayn to wander his halls with no protest. Harry pushed Zayn into his room before searching for clothes for the boy to wear. The brown eyed boy’s eyes flickered all over Harry’s tall frame as the younger boy moved around the uncharacteristically dirty room.

By the time Harry had forced him into one of his older outfits, Zayn had already begun to crave for the sweet burn of nicotine. Harry frowned when Zayn stood up for another cigarette, the boy’s chinos sagged off of him and so did the usually tight navy polo.

“Zayn, please don’t have another cigarette right now, okay.” Zayn stopped when he could hear the pleading in Harry’s voice. Fortunately a voice broke out before he could respond.

“I’m here queers!” Louis’ voice cut into Zayn and Harry’s stare down. He bounced into the unlocked apartment, rambling mostly nonsense and something about how Eleanor was too busy to make it. However his bubbliness soon came to a stop when he caught sight of Zayn’s gaunt figure in the shadows.

“Jesus Zayn, you look-“Harry cut him off with a glare, quickly urging Zayn to go wash up before dinner.

“Shut the fuck up Louis! He’s pretty sensitive right now, you know that!” Harry yelled in a hush tone.

Louis’ eyes widened in surprise and indignation, “Well dammit Harry! I didn’t think he was going to be that bad! Just because you love that boy there doesn’t mean you can let him drink and smoke his way to death!”

“And Zayn’s still in love with fucking Liam! The only reason I’m still holding up is because I’m living to take care of him. Do you think he even notices me? He just sits there pining after our precious Daddy Direction. Don’t you know how well I could treat him Louis? He’s worth so much more than Liam can ever give him and he won’t let me prove it.” Harry’s eyes turned bright green now with rage and disappointment, his voice cynical when he mentioned Liam and defeated whenever Zayn was brought up.

_But you know I never want to do you wrong_

_Bring into question what we have_

A floorboard creaked from nearby and both boys looked up to see the cause of the disturbance. Zayn stood there, anxiously hovering and biting his lip. The olive skinned boy was looking at the floor until Louis coughed awkwardly. Not thinking anything of the interruption, Harry went over to hug the new arrival before Zayn held out a shaking palm, an effort to stop the younger boy, something that hadn’t happened in months.

“What, Harry? You’re in love with me?” Zayn spit out the question like he was personally offended by it, almost disgusted by the mere fact that someone like Harry could even think about the idea of loving him. His worrying brown eyes looked up into Harry’s grass green eyes asking questions Harry really did not know the answer to.

The door opened and a loud, “Hello boys, the Irish charm is in the building!” was heard before Harry and Zayn noticed the scuffle of Louis shoving him out of the apartment, closing the door rather noisily behind them. However both Louis and Niall were ignored as Zayn and Harry were still gazing at each other without words, the darker boy still grappling for answers. Zayn furrowed his eyebrows before frowning and opening his mouth a few times, apparently ready to break the silence, because Harry sure as hell was not.

“You know ever since I have moved into your apartment and Liam and Danielle have gotten engaged you have been taking such good care of me. Slowly I began to give up on Liam ever breaking it off with Danielle, I was so sick of seeing them together everywhere I turned, on Twitter or Facebook or a god damn magazine. I forgot all the nice romantic stuff, the way Liam smelt at six in the morning, the way his eyes crinkled when he laughed like he meant it. But just as I began to forget the pain of all the things I loved about Liam other things that I could not control popped into my mind.” Zayn had his fists clenched now, struggling to get the words out but all the while staring into Harry’s deep green orbs. Harry’s heart however had sunk into his chest, heavy with the anchor that was Zayn’s words. Zayn still plowed on.

“Whenever I tried to picture Liam laughing, the vision became distorted, instead of crinkling eyes I could only see dimples folding upwards in amusement. Instead of imagining how the man I loved smelt, I imagined you swimming, the way you looked so damn happy every time you were near a body of water even though I hate the sport. You took such good care of me, every fucking day, when I didn’t deserve it at all. I kept thinking how it wasn’t fair to you or Liam that I suddenly felt this way. That I only felt this way because I would love anyone who showed me attention. But I believe over time it changed, I got to see so much of you Harry and you’re beautiful Hazza, so damn beautiful. I wish I could show you that without having you think I still loved Liam. I just thought you were going to hurt me the same way that Liam did, the most painful way, unintentionally without even realizing it. It killed me, being here when I thought you were pining after Carolina or some other creature with breasts and I was so shattered because it was like Liam all over again except different because I never cared for Liam as much as I love you now. I love you like the sun loves the moon, all warm and good feelings; just bursting from the inside, but the sun always misses the moon. I don’t want to miss you Harry. Please don’t miss me either.” Zayn’s voice broke on that note, deep brown eyes watery and his entire emotionally and physical state exhausted. Harry rushed forward, encircling the shorter boy in his long, sinewy arms.

“Oh baby, no, no, no. I could never miss you.” Harry muttered repeatedly as he rocked the boy in his arms back and forth. Harry ran his large hand through Zayn’s quiff, feeling the soft locks of hair between his fingers, and tilted Zayn’s head up to meet his stare before quickly kissing his forehead. Zayn lifted up his head when Harry’s lips left his soft skin. He stared into Harry’s eyes, debating something Harry did not know, before bringing Harry’s head down with his left hand, their lips meeting tentatively. Zayn opened his mouth to accept Harry and the taller boy was suddenly overwhelmed by the taste of warm alcohol and sharp cigarettes. But Harry smiled into the kiss because he now knew Zayn did those things for him and not Liam, and that the shorter male would never do them again. Zayn pulled back slightly, his out of time breaths still misting over Harry’s now swollen lips.

“You taste like an ashtray.”

Zayn just smiled and hugged Harry tighter before pulling him back down returning to kissing the boy, his lips, his face and his neck. Harry was never going to let Zayn go.

——-

Liam and Danielle arrived later that night, and all the boys and Danielle sat in the living room joking. Liam’s eyes bright and radiant as Danielle unknowingly flaunted her engagement ring, eyes sparkling with mirth and uncontainable happiness. From the armchair in the far corner Louis cast his eyes over Zayn worryingly, quite unsure of how the younger male was really holding up, having just arrived back from a phone call. But both his eyebrows and his lips quirked up at the sight of Zayn. The darker featured man was curled up around Harry, in the corner of the plush couch. Harry whispered something into his ears and Zayn grinned, teeth blinding and happiness renewed. Zayn pressed his nose into Harry’s neck and rested there, artistic hands tracing patterns on the sliver of the curly headed boy’s exposed tummy. It almost physically killed Louis to watch Hazza smile like he had been given the whole entire universe as he stroked Zayn’s hair with no protest from the cuddling boy. Louis knew Zayn had a little ways to come, eying his extremely exposed hip and collarbones; but then Harry looked at Zayn like he hung the moon and Louis knew it’d be all right. He looked away, smiling at Niall before Liam caught his eye. The puppy faced boy was smiling gently, as if all he wanted in the world was his estranged best friend to be happy.

So Louis just smiled and leaned back and didn’t worry anymore.

_I know I let you down_

_But you’re giving me a chance_

**Author's Note:**

> This is a song fic inspired by Giving Me A Chance by Gotye. Ok so this is my second Zarry and I feel like it was jumbled but I really liked how it came out and I really adore Zarry. I'm zaynlikesharry over at tumblr btw!


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